10. When you’re gone, we go through your stuff and read your journal (some of the stuff you write about is just so adorable).
9. Hemingway’s cats wrote all his books.
8. At night, we mess with the thermostat. We like it warmer, thank you.
7. Stop buying the felt mice. Seriously. We are just playing with them to humor you. We are not that gullible.
6. We get a big laugh out of staring at the wall like we can see ‘something’ there that you can’t. It’s funny when you’re eyes go wide and your hair stands on end.
5. We do climb on your chest and try to steal your breath at night, we just haven’t perfected it yet. Someday, though, someday.
4. We wish you’d watch more NASCAR. We love watching those brightly colored mice go around and around.
3. Those aren’t hang up phone calls; we posted an ad on Craig’s List for a barrel of fresh Salmon (Wild Alaskan, please. King Salmon if at all possible. Top Dollar. Do you accept Diner’s Club?)
2. As kittens we all attend human behavior and psychology classes that teach us how to work with you and shape your behavior. (We’re still having trouble teaching you that the bed is OURS, however.)
1. Most of us posses intelligence that is superior to humans, know multiple languages, and we could run the world. But napping all day and watching the squirrels is WAAAAAAAY more fun!